Topless Rockstars

you’d like to conference me in on a call with an important dude?  That’s cool, thanks for doing that.

But next time, could you let me know his name/job title in advance before you do so?

…maybe, not get get me on the phone and say “I’d like to introduce you to our Master of Seamen”

Because this is the response I will give
“er… uh… hello?”

…because I thought she was talking about ME.

And this is pretty much just a test to see if I can blog on the go. We’ll see how this works.

First I stop writing. Then I upgrade and screw up WordPress really bad. Then I let the domain expire.

I should be flogged in a public square.

Anyways, the site’s back up, and I’m sure Katie will be blogging sometime soon. As for me, I’m out for a few more months/years.

A bold claim. And I feel like a 12 year old girl for even embracing the idea, but it’s actually true.  Character restrictions make you think and interrupts your flow. How you combat that is kind of a big thing.  Seeing how other people deal with the restrictions is also pretty neat.

But mostly because I found Erika.  I bought one of her books at the shack of a bookstore here in FE and thought “hey, I wonder if she’s on twitter”.. she is, and she’s the kind of person that is genuinely interested in people who take an interest in her. I mean, I read her book and I LOVED it. That means we have to be similar in at least a few ways, right?

And she’s a real artist. Like, she does that for a living. She’s not trying to get into it or does something between her 9-5 job. She is capable of illustrating and writing on a regular basis and can eat her dinner with the money she makes. This concept is pretty much foreign to me.

But she reads what I say. She asks me questions. She relays what I say to her friends. She’ll send me emails and thank me for the stories I tell her. She’ll ask me a simple question and I’ll write her an essay of responses.  And she loves it. And she’s inspired to get together people for a zine style project and tour it. And she wants me to be involved! And I want to be involved! WHAT THE HELL

I love asking her things and seeing what she has to say. I love it when her friends see our “conversation” and get in on it. I feel no fear, no anxiety, no shame. And not because I’m protected by a computer and a certain level of anonymity… I genuinely don’t fear that these people will judge me, and I don’t fear that I won’t be able to handle anything they’d have to say about me or the decisions I’ve made. And that is fucking NEW.

I don;t know why I never thought of doing this earlier… Rick Mercer spends a crapload of time with Canadian troops on CFBs.  I just watched him on a rerun at one of our bases spending the entire feature explaining, working with, and getting inside equipment that I work on and work with every day.

I am pretty sure I’ll get in huge trouble if I say how I’ve contributed to this equipment or say what I’m working on right now, so I’ll give you vague details lol… if you care about what I do for a living and how cool the Canadian Forces are, click the links below!

The ejection seat, helmet and oxygen regulator are BIG parts of my life. I can’t imagine a day that doesn’t involve them.

CSAR equipment is my favourite. From harnesses to helicopters everything having to do with these guys is totally cool and badass. I have nothing but respect for anyone who works for CSAR.

THIS is also a big part of my life.  I think I could pack one of those chutes with my eyes closed.  Actually, no I don’t. They are very complicated. But I have tried. And by tried I mean, gave up halfway through and crammed it into a bag.  DON’T WORRY that is not one that went out for service. It was the sample one with the whole purpose of proving that those motherfuckers are HUGE and getting them to actually fit in the bag and fit so they deploy properly is something that needs some serious, serious, attention and details.

I’m really proud of the work I do and the people I work for. In the last 4 months I’ve felt a greater respect and pride for our troops than ever before. To see the kind of conditions they work in and what they are willing to do to help and save the lives of others… they deserve the utmost respect and the best of the best equipment one can possibly provide.

Being able to watch TV and see projects that I’ve written on, equipment that I’ve seen and handled, and most importantly the people who actually take the manuals I work them on and put them to use… it’s incredible.

If you ever have a chance to do work with or for the Canadian Forces, take it.  You’ll never feel better about yourself as a Canadian.

Ok, so twitter has taken over my life.

I like it because usually when I want to blog I only have 2 sentences worth saying and then have to make up a bunch of other shit to make it worthwhile.

Also, 95% of the celebrities I follow are incredible (Steve Buschemi is the best, by far) and I was also able to get in touch with Erika Lopez, a small author who I picked up a book by and really, really enjoyed.

I ragged on twitter for the longest time until I realized I could see James Franco talk about his penis and Ryan Adams post pictures of himself regularly. I’ll swallow my pride for those benefits.

while watching TV tonight there was a commercial for an AIDS/HIV awareness program.  The slogan for this program was “Keep it Alive” which struck me as odd.  When I think of AIDS the last thing I think of is the desire to “keep it alive.”  Though I understand that they meant that we need to keep alive the chain of talking about, understanding, doing the right thing, and advising to do the right thing…. but “AIDS. KEEP IT ALIVE.” just made me cringe mentally like when someone hits the wrong note in a song.  That sudden “bwannnnnkk” that makes you shudder but at the same time go ‘I know what he was trying to do there.”

This post really has no point or relevance, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about for the past hour.

Hey, I need to lose a solid 80 lbs.  WHEN THE HELL DID I GAIN 80 POUNDS?  Oh that’s right, I remember.  I graduated from university so I didn’t walk 20 minutes every day to get to the bus stop and back, nor did I continue my trend of taking nightly walks.  Instead, I spent this time eating chocolate and cookies.  Probably a good idea for us all.

A few months ago I started doing the whole workout DVD things, and I actually *gained* weight.  And not in the “muscle weighs more than fat” way.  I’d work out, and afterwards I’d be so hungry I would eat everything in my house.  And the fact that my fridge contains 80% pop and 20% garbage… I can see what happened.

Throw in medication that adds weight gain and a Winter in Fort Erie… and you’ve got quite an elaborate alliby of excuses.

But now it’s warmer… nice outside.  I live in a neighborhood where I won’t get hit by cars (deer, maybe), I make more money so I can actually afford to buy healthy food, and being home at 4pm every day means I’ll actually have time to cook and prepare meals and snacks that aren’t 4 spoonfulls of peaut butter or a handfull of shredded cheese melted in the microwave into a pile of goo and then eaten with a fork.

The reason I’m doing this is because now that I’m married I know that the baby train will be making a stop within the next 5 years.  And if I’m the weight I am and then put on weight to have a baby, I’m going to be well over 300 lbs. and probably die of horrible self image before I even deliver the baby.

So the plan is, to lose weight now, and then post-baby time I’ll be all “hey, I did this once before!” instead of being fat, getting fatter, and then going “screw this, I am going to just eat honey roasted peanuts until my  heart explodes.”

Aren’t women supposed to work hard up until they get married and then let themselves go entirely?  I’m still somewhat convinced that I am Bizarro wife.  NO WEDDINGS!  I WANT TO LOOK PRETTY!  SURE I WILL BUY GROCERIES AND CLEAN THE HOUSE WITHOUT COMPLAINING.

MAJOR UPDATE:  I’M TOTALLY FRIGGEN MARRIED.

As if the 2 people who read this didn’t already know, but whatever.

Joe and I had been planning more wedding things at more and more serious stages.  I found that the more serious it got, the more I realized that no matter what I did it would still seem too staged and hokey for me, that no matter how cheap, that is still too much to pay for napkins, and no matter how slow of a baby-step process it was, I was already experiencing hardcore anxiety and fear at the idea of having an audience watch us do all this stuff and then have to make sure they have food and drinks that they like and have a good time.

Joe and I already had our trip to NYC planned, and we thought that it would be a great chance to have a secret/surprise ceremony… it would be just the two of us, in a place that we pick… no audience, no stress, no people bugging us and making “suggestions” and comments every 4 seconds…. it would be in a beautiful place that would have significance for us for the rest of our lives.  Then we could hold a second ceremony in the summer, that would be more of a celebration and party with our friends than a dramatic performance with an audience - just food and music and telling each other again that we want to be together for the rest of our lives.

It wasn’t the most popular decision out there (understandably) but it’s what was best for us, and if I had an unlimited budget and the top wedding planners in the world I wouldn’t have changed a single detail.

The “surprise!  We’re married!” element created a flood of support and congratulations I never would have expected.  People were calling us all weekend to tell us how happy they were.  We came home to presents and cards at our offices, my Mother threw us a surprise party with just us, my grandparents, Aunt and Uncle, Phil, Nancy, and the girls Hannah and Paige…. everything was so low-key and congratulatory and everyone around us just oozed pure happiness.

The pictures turned out beautiful, the photographer and I have become good friends, and the humanist minister performed a lovely ceremony focused on the happiness we will share together and the love we are projecting onto the world.  We didn’t realize we had an audience after all - people came up to us after to congratulate us and wish us luck…but the only person in my focus and attention was my husband - which to me is what a wedding day should be.

I didn’t spend my entire life dreaming of dresses and vows and bridesmaids, but I did spend the last year worrying about how I’m all of a sudden supposed to pretend that I did - and that I actually like the idea of little paper boxes with candy inside at every seat, making (and dwindling down) a list of people that would want to watch me do the most intimate and personal thing I could possibly imagine, try and find a song that reflects the relationship between my father and I - who both would rather be dead than dance to “Butterfly Kisses” or “Daughters” while a bunch of people stand around and watch us embrace - which, by the way, we have never done, ever.  Not even when he was sick or when I got dumped and did nothing but cry all the time.  We give the kind of hugs that men give each other on sitcoms.  Do we love each other more than life itself?  Obvs, we just don’t like being touched.  Or doing shit that neither of us want to do.

But there will be a second ceremony.  I *want* a second ceremony.  And it’s going to be “traditional” in the sense that it’s supposed to be about the bride and groom, but all the focus goes into making and keeping the guests happy.  It’ll be all about the friends and family who have spent the last few years being our drinking buddies, advice givers, shopping partners, confidants, piano movers, and comforters (not the blanket kind).  It’s a chance for us all to get together and for Joe and I to say “thanks for not telling this dude repeatedly to break up with me, now let’s drink and listen to some music!”

I want all you guys in my life for as long as I want Joe in it.  I can’t imagine a happier life.